THE YAYCISM IS KIRREENG MEE

I\'m sorry: Headhunter is an awesome design and concept, but I gotta give it to RAWK BATTORU. His epic power is simply too good to be true. The fact that he talks in Engrish, kicks ass, and throws up the horns on nearly every page... he cracks my ribs with laughter and the design scheme is very unique. Rawk on, Rawk Battoru. Rawk. On.

First thing before I critique: Jack, I know me and you really are not on friendly terms. But if you\'re looking for critiques or just wanting somebody to do something for ya, maybe asking nicely and not referring to your readers and or people as \"ASSHOLES\" \"FUCKERS\" and \"CUNTS\" will get ya better results. You can attract more flies with honey than with vinager as most people say. Not saying you should act like a total pansy either.

Wolfboy: Now for the critique (though I\'m willing to bet you won\'t listen). One thing that really stood out was the collage you had all throughout the comic. I did think it was a nice touch and using Japanese newspaper was pretty clever, however that seemed to be the main focus for me, it, was, EVERYWHERE!! First couple of pages like Elio mentioned was a good use of the collage method, after that you went way overboard with it, why did you have that sign floating in the air? What was the point of the collage heads down at the bottom of that one panel?

Well, regardless of that, the art for me was OK and perhaps some more experimenting with the collage format would be more than welcome, wasn\'t entirely thrilled when I read this comic however, you really should consider cutting back on the constant cursing that I\'ve seen in the past fights you\'ve put up, it\'s a piss poor way to develop a character and makes it a chore to have to trudge through dialog like that. Everything aside from that was an OK read, nothing special though.

Dure: Artwise dude, this was a rather nice treat, I really wished you had turned on anti-aliasing for the sound effects, really made the entire comic look pixilated and very unprofessional looking if you ask me. But aside from that everything else looked very nice, though a bit rushed. For your story I enjoyed this a bit more than Jack\'s (I\'m being as unbiased as I can be here) though the whole \"Look at that, he\'s doing this\" and the \"Wait, he\'s doing something to counter that!\" just screamed \"Ripped from the pages of today\'s manga\'s.\" I\'m not saying that\'s an entirely bad thing, but it\'s nothing new bro.

Still, the overall quality and readability of your fight was enough to warrant my vote.


This was a pretty decent first entry from the two of you, but you can both do a lot better in the next round.

Jack:  I think this is the same critique I\'ve always given you, but CONTRAST.  Though, this comic is much better in regards to that than in previous ones, so I\'m thinking you might have played around with that, but there\'s still a lot of black in this that would look a lot better if it was PURE black and didn\'t look so streaky.  The collage was pretty cool.  It wasn\'t all that confusing, but making some lines thicker or something wouldn\'t hurt at all.

Dure: The art was really good.  The last page was great.  I agree with Elio about the sound effects.  They just don\'t look like they belong.  Everything else was alright.  For some reason, though, the comic doesn\'t stand out that much.

This one blew me away and as jack said, I also do think it’s a shame none( ok, just a few uu) is commenting… Anyways:

<b>The Wolfboy Jack:</b> What can I say? You made me lmao all the way. Gasp how can you do something that funny? Your character is amazing and the mood you’re using in your comics is so rad it makes me jealous. I loved the clippings and the use of blacks and whites, but the over usage of red made me lose track in some parts… Just having a better balance between the colors will make the flow get better and also give more importance to your details. I don’t think I have more to say, it was great!

<b>Duredhel:</b> Your monster is one of my fav concepts in the tourney, but I think it’s a bit too hard to be drawn, even for you (I do feel your pain if I’m right, mine is not a piece of cake either). I’m saying this because it looks like all the panels with Headhunter he’s always turned to the same side (left if I’m not wrong) and as Nasb has lots of different views in your pages, your monster looked almost inert (that can be just me). Another thing that made me lose a bit was the last page… I could not get what happened between page 7-8. From what I could see, Headhunter lost his main head due to radiation, right? I can’t get how it got glued again.. Was it regeneration or something I missed? About the fonts and such, I do agree with Elio, some sounds look way better when wrote by hand. It makes the drawing merge with the effect and gives a better flow to the page as a whole, trust me XD With all that said, I think the character development was pretteh good (for both characters, as Nasb was really fun in your pages too) and the quality of the pages were great aswell. Just be careful because some of your action scenes and panel pacing were a bit confusing, but I guess you can fix that with no time.

Ha ha ha sorry for the wall of text XD Good luck for both of you <3

Wow. You both rock so much face its unbelievable. This was definitely one of the closest battles I have seen. Jack, you get my because you are hilarious. ROCK AN\" ROW!

Alright, I don\'t have much to say for either, but here it goes.

Jack: You\'ve got a way with colors and detail, so you get props from me for that.  And what you did was rather unique with using lots of clippings and all that.  But the main overall problem was that everything looked too busy.  There are so many lines and details flying everywhere that at times I couldn\'t even tell what was going on.  The lack of paneling also hindered that a bit.  Nice effort all the way though.

Dure: I found your lineart and paneling to be much cleaner and easier to read, so you get my vote.  Your story also kept me interested, especially the way you ended it.  Now I wanna know how this ending will play out should you actually win.  You opened yourself up to a new story quite easily, and you were able to grip the reader into wanting more.  Great job!

Hopefully this all helps.

DEAR CHERISHED READERS,

PLEASE CRITIQUE THE BATTLES. IT\'S A DAMNED SHAME THAT THERE\'S 44 VOTES AND ONLY 3 CRITIQUES. QUIT BEING ASSHOLES AND VOICE YOUR OPINIONS.

THANK YOU.

Jack – I’m no stranger to collage and I’m aware it’s extremely difficult to pull off. And a big wow for you trying to do something different. You did a fun job using the Japanese text with your comics. However, a lot your panels and drawings get completely drowned and it’s really hard to tell what is going on in some of them. My suggestion would be to make sure that each of your drawings are popping out from your background more successfully. Off the top of my head I would suggest making your drawings have a thicker black boarder around them so it will pop up from your busy collage background.

Pages one and two are the best because example they have red boarders and seem more uniformed, but three and four, its hard to read what’s going on because your drawings seem to blend in too easily with the background. I can tell your still using a tiny tiny pen to draw too, you need to make your comics larger (when doing pro work) so when you shrink them down they are cleaner and not so muddy buddy.

Your comic is really fucking fun though, I love your character and your comic definalty shouts with punk action. Your transformation sequence I can totally picture at a metal / punk light show, but I would change it up and draw a more interesting sequence. That’s like the best part is this punk star turning into a monster, I’m dying to see how that works but you made the screen go to black! Boooo! Draw a super crazy transformation! Some of your action panels are hard to read, and some other easier. Page seven, the first panel seems a little awkward, but the next three are great! And using Inferno worm is awesome, I’m sure Haven is loving it. Awesome conclusion to your battle, very entertaining!

Conclusion, - try to make your collage and drawings pop out from one another
- clean up your drawings but drawing bigger and using bigger pens, then shrink.
- Work on action resting more comfortably inside panels.
ROCK ON!
Thank you for battling in my tournament.


Duredhel –
I’m digging the horror comic style (or what at least looks like to me) You know how to draw I don’t need to give you much advice on that. Some action looks great, others are a little confusing. The only things I could really point out to you is there are a lot of wasted space in your comics, a lot of black space. I know this is a quick tournament, but if you were to work on printed comic, I’d spend more time constructing better layouts to make use of all the page space. Pages 6, 7, 8 would need to be redone. While pages 2 and 3 are great.

Also, digital sound effects, such as page 8 need to go. It’s fine for quick void battle, but for way stronger work, I’d suggest ethier hand drawing them or using a better void and mixing it up, not just a straight bold line shooting across. It seems like 90% of the comics I read online are using that font (isn’t it called impact – hell void uses it) for sound effects, your drawings are great I’m sure you can make way more interesting ones all by yourself!

Awesome entry, great drawings, seems a little rushed at the end. But good job!
Thank you for battling in my tournament!  

Holy crap it was everything I expected it to be only better :O

I LOVE Jack\'s bat--he\'s such a fun character. I really liked how he thew his little bitch fit on stage. The comedy elements and entertainment were higher in Jack\'s half for me, but ultimately ima hafta choose Diego\'s battle. The newspaper clippings and unclear character placement made it a little hard for me to follow so I got kinda confused. Headhunter\'s half was a lot easier to folow for me and the story seemed a bit more rounded out and complete. Also, Diego just has mad skills when it comes to adding detail and I liked the almost comical demise of Battoru with the \"schplort\". The cosplay bit helped too hahah<3

all in all you guys did wonders and I wouldn\'t be disappointed if either of you went onto the next round.

OMG it\'s so hard to vote on this one. If is there a meaning for epic, this should be it.
At the same time I want to go to a BATTORU show, I want to see headhunter colleting each and every head he can see around, oh gosh.

I give it to Wolfboy, but just because of the newspaper stuff, this is brilliant stuff.

LOCKED, COCKED, READY TO RAWKANAROOOOOOOOOOOO

*Can\'t wait forKoM to go up.*
Gah O,o the suspense....

I\'m rooting for you Jack go kick some ass bro!

Go Headhunter! Overwhelm him with your Corpse Boars!!!!1

GO JACK GO
WE GOTTA FIGHT NEXT

Diego, you better win this thing! Headhunter is just too creepy to lose

yay, goodluck!

I have no words... I predict fun, joy, blood and destruction!!!!! Henshin!

Yesshhhhh

Have fun, and good luck

noooo I love both of these guys!! give it your all damnit!!